Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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