So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
