I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize