butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just saw a hot homeless man
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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