Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
That's an oxymoron.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work