We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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