Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
