last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
