she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
last night I used snow as a chaser
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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