grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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