Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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