Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
