At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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