Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
