we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
