Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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