Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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