I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
