ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
