I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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