jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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