yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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