i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
