Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I showed him my bush... on skype.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
