Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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