Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
