My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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