it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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