Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
