Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I enjoy the company of your penis
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