I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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