garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just forgot I was standing up.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
