Whod you bang
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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