Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
