Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
birth control should be required to get into college
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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