I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
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The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
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sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
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