walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
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