All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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