I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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