But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My Higher Power is John Stamos
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
