Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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