I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
