3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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