shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
