If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
