Do vagina's smell?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize