I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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