Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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