The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
