if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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