do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
