This dress was meant to end up on your floor
it hurts more in the daytime
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize