she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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