How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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