she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
