i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
