just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He shit in the fireplace
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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