Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Randomize
