Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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