i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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