Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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